Soooo, I have the most amazing boyfriend everrrrrr and I am soooo happy that he was brought into my life, ahhh thank You Lord, Joshua is more than I could've ever dreamed about, thank You soooo much! AHHH You do such amazing things!

Joshua: so, i get to see emily in 3 days, and i'm pretty stoked
Me:really? do you like her?
Joshua: it's like woah, she has no idea how much i'm falling for her
Me:I'm kinda falling for this Josh kid too
Joshua: really?
Joshua: that's cool
Joshua: i hear he's a good guy
Me:VERY
Me:I hear that Emily chick is kinda weird though
Joshua: nahhhh, i hear she's very sweet, and very much close to God, and very cuddlable, and once you meet her and spend time with her you'll miss her soooo much you won't know what to do

Me:hmm, i suppose she sounds like a cool girl
Joshua: she's amazing
Me:what a coincidence! SO IS JOSHUA!
Joshua: and when two amazing people come together they have something that is truly special
Me:and then they become superheroes
Joshua: Emily Nicole, what would I do without you
Me:lol i dunnooooo
Me:be short one ninja?
Joshua: i would be short THE ninja

Joshua: we're gonna make a movie about you, Ninja Princess - a memoir
Me:hahaha
Joshua: it all started when she was young, a lady bug whispered the secret words of the Ninjatsi to her while she slept....... she trained when nobody was looking, while others were sleeping she was dedicated to the ways of the Ninjatsi....... eventually, she could even get free food, and multiple turnovers! from arbys
Joshua: she even mastered the art of getting the power steering to come back on
Joshua: Emily Dempster - American Ninja
Me:hahahahahahaa
Joshua: that's the intro and then like you slash a sword or something and bust through a wall

Me:mmmmm i miss youuu
Joshua: mmmm i miss you too
Joshua: so much
Joshua: i love being around you
Joshua: even when we are both quiet it isn't like an awkward scilence or anything it just feels good
Joshua: and when we talk it's nice
Joshua: and when i have my arm around you
Joshua: and when your arm is on me
Joshua: and when i'm holding your hand
Joshua: and when we're kissing
Joshua: and when i'm staring into your eyes
Joshua: and when i open my eyes and see you and realize that everytime i look at you you are more beautiful than the last time and everytime i think, "oh my goodness how could she even get any more beautiful"

Me: i changed my myspace and its pretty much amazing

Joshua: i'm gonna go look at the amazingness

Me: lol k

Joshua: Em, everything you do makes me feel good

Joshua: i mean, i don't think i've ever looked at a myspace before and though, "this myspace page makes me feel good"

Me: lol how in the world did it do that lol

Joshua: it just has a nice song, and a cross which makes me so happy that we share the same beliefs, and you said i am the best boyfriend ever

Joshua: pretty much making you, and your myspace page, amazing

Me: lol

Me: Joshua, I'm glad that for some reason I can make you feel good and be happy

Joshua: me 2, and i'm glad that i make you happy too

Joshua: well you're nice

Joshua: you're gorgeous

Joshua: you're inteligent

Joshua: you make me feel good

Joshua: you somehow manage to go to school and work multiple jobs and go to church and visit me

Joshua: you're simply amazing

Joshua: you're downright cute

Joshua: i love how you talk and your voice and your eyes and your hair and your nose and looking into your eyes and i even like it when we are both quiet and just chillin'

Joshua: brb, i think i hear a bag of peanut mnms calling me

Me: omgosh

Me: Emily=jealous

Joshua: if you were here

Joshua: i'd buy you two

Me: haha
Me: you always say that

Me: yet Emily still has no peanut mnms

Joshua: and 'till the day i die if Emily ever wants peanut mnms i'll offer her two bags, she just has to remind me to get them when i'm around

Joshua: lol i dunno, you were just you and I find myself falling for that person more everyday

Joshua: soooo my roommate gets to see his girlfriend everyday, i'm kinda jealous

Me: awww, me too, i wish I got to see her everyday!

Joshua: and he complains about missing her and i'm like dude, wtf, i get to see emily like once a week, and then stef is like dude, wtf, i get to see my boyfriend like once every 6 weeks

Joshua: i dunno there is just something kinda magical when we're kissing

Me: i knoooow

Me: it gives me chills and it's literally like the rest of the world stops

Me: yay i was worried about my testimony running over the time PJ would want me to finish but he just sent me a message saying not to worry about it so that just made me feel a lot less stressed

Joshua: sweetheart what you have to say is so important i don't think anyone would mind if you went over

Me: lol, i never ever used to think that ANYTHING i would ever have to say would be important.. and i never thought i would be an "inspiration" to anyone (i still dont think i should be) and it is just sooo amazing to me how much God has done with my life!!

Joshua: God can take some not so good things and use them in incredible ways, I'm gettin' shivers just thinking about it

Me: me toooo ahh i love ittttt

Lol, random color changes for some reason, oh welllll.

<3 M

So, this Sunday I am officially going to BW for the day to see Joshua :) I'm sooo excited but sooo sad at the same time because I won't get to go to CTOP :( and me and Sarah were sooo excited to go!! so now I promised her I would take her next week and if I didnt, I gave her permission to hurt me lol. I am soo excited to go back and I'm also sooo excited that Sarah is excited to go to! That makes me so unbelievabely happy! Thank you, Lord for renewing that love in her life!

Other than the random trip, everything has been going AMAZING! God is really showing me some amazing things and doing some amazing things in my life. School is going sooo well and I actually love getting up every morning to go! juggling that and two jobs is getting frustrating but God is getting me through it without a problem.

I'm gonna study and go to bed though, I just felt like updating cuzz I havent for a reeeeally long time lol

<3 M

Because on and off
The clouds have fought for control over the sky
And lately, the weather has been so bi-polar
And consequently, so have I

But now I'm sunny with a high of 75
Since You took my heavy heart, and made it light
And it's funny how you find you enjoy your life
When you're happy to be alive

These Lyrics describe my life PERFECTLY right now! I've never been happier... for two reasons which this song also describes. God has done some amazing things in my life lately and He's changed me even further towards the person I want to be, and more importantly, toward being the person that HE wants me to be! and also, not to mention, that boy of mine, Michael Adam =). He makes me so happy I can hardly contain myself! lol.I have finally adjusted to the whole distance thing. I knew I would, I just needed time. I knew home would feel like home again and I'm soo thankful for that! I've been having some amazing times with the people I love (lol Lowes with eritah and KT where i almost killed Erica with a lightbulb rack, and walmart where i tried to show shanerz the box and couldnt get it to move. then Paulley Walley lifting me up so i could see a bed haha.) PLUS! I'm driving now and have a car and everything so i can drive myself to the mall and walmart and any random place i feel like going to lol. Of course I still miss Jamie Liz , just like everyone else misses people who are off at college and what-not, but that doesnt mean I don't still love my friends here =)

Work still sucks as usual, but Nathaniel James and Tonya and Tania and Sawah make it sooo much better :) plus im getting a job at Papa Bears as a server (i start monday!! im totally nervous!! lol but i know God will get me through it so I'll be just fine!) and im hoping to have some new experiences there, even the bad ones! lol.

I love you guys! I pray that all is going just as well for everyone else cuzz you all deserve it!!

<3 M :)

Here goes me attempting to write an intelligent entry at 2:00 in the morning after a reeeeally long day.... haha, yea right!

so I am sitting here at 1:20 in the morning after just getting home from church, freezing my butt off and tired like crazy.. but I have just come to a realization that i figured I would share with all of you since you are my friends and 99% of you aren't here with me...

As I was getting back from church and I got out of the car, I grabbed for my ID and started heading for the guard shack.. On the way in i saw Peter, a friend of mine from the warehouse (who has a crush on me but thats another story entirely!) and so we both said hello and then I also said hello to another guy who said hello to me on the way to my dorm building... As i walked through the door and exchanged the usual "have a good night"'s with the front desk person, it hit me... I have now been here at Cedar Point for 2 months and I have actually reached the sense of comfort that, in the beginning, i NEVER thought i would be able to reach!

My first week here I remember that the walk from the guardshack to my building seemed like the longest walk EVER for the simple fact that i didnt know anyone so I would walk and just stare at the ground and I knew that even when I went home everynight, i STILL wouldnt know anyone.. now I walk with my head held high and i figured out that I have found everything I was searching for when I first moved here.. I found friendship-- I have Jamie and John who are the most amazing people I have ever met not to mention Traci, one of the coolest room mates a person could wish for!-- I have gotten recognition for just being here as well as the work I do-- I was made a Blue tag just 3 weeks after being here and outside of work no matter where I go there is always a familiar face to smile and say hello to.. and most importantly I have found the time that I sought for it to just be me and God.

I work A LOT and it gets tiring, but it is an amazing feeling to be in an environment where God is number one.. granted Cedar Point is not the most Godly place on the map, but MOST of the people i surround myself with now have the same belief as I do... that is not AT ALL to say that i did not appreciate my friends back home for accepting me as a Christian, but to constantly put yourself in the presence of other strong Christians also helps... I dont have to worry about being pulled away from God's word because of others' actions or about being pressured into making stupid decisions.. I hang out with jamie almost every day, whether we are working or not, and I always know that i will not have to worry about whether or not the things we do or say will be in honor of the Lord.. we both know that EVERYTHING in our lives is for Him and even when temptations rise, we find comfort in each other.. after all 1 John 2:17 is exactly right when it says "The world and it's desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."

Anyways, now that i have gone on my usual Jesus-freak rant, i have also earned the money that I came here to raise.. i am well on my way to my goal.. so far I am almost 100 dollars over goal not to mention my bonus is going to be about 2 or 300 dollars over the intended goal! so im excited about that! now i will be able to go home and start school next semester which is what i've been wanting to do...

The only problem is that leaving here is definitely going to be hard... leaving massillon was hard and when i got here all i wanted was to find comfort here... now that i have that, i wish i didnt so that it would be easier to leave!! thats the thing about change... you want to be ok with it, but then the minute you are, another change comes... Take this analogy for example:

John chapter 15 says that God is a gardener and Jesus is the TRUE vine... if Jesus is the true vine then that means that there are also FALSE vines.. we need to look at our lives and think of what we are attached to... If God is the gardener then that means he must prune what he has grown. He will remove all of the unwanted branches.. the ones that do not "bear fruit" or arent in His glory (i.e. take the bad things out of our lives) but what happens when you prune? it grows back faster and faser... this doesnt mean that it will be too much to handle, it just means that when God finally lifts you out of a problem, that doesnt mean there wont be more to face, it just means that you as well will grow better in the end.

Sorry to make such a long and semi-complicated analogy for such a small point, but the question I have to ask myself when I think of that is, am I allowing the gardener free reign on me?

Ok, I'm done, i dont want to seem as though I'm preaching, just thinking out loud via blog-message lol... ANYWAY, everything is going really well.. i now officially have 29 days left until i get to go back to Massillon!!! i am sooo excited to move back home even though when I told Jamie i wouldnt be staying.. she wasnt exactly thrilled.. i feel bad but there are so many points of my life that are on hold back home right now that it would be unfair of me to stay up here.. i will have school, i have friendships that were weakening and are FINALLY becoming stronger, I have 2 jobs that both want me to come back ASAP not to mention I church and other familiar faces around town that i miss dearly!

so im kind of just rambling so i am going to go to bed now after just being informed of the dissapointing news that grudge 2 is probably one of the worst movies ever.. im so sad lol i was looking forward to a good scary movie! Oh well!!

Love you guys!!!!!!!1

<3 M

Got to drive past Canton Temple of Praise... i miss it soooo much!! i mean my church in Sandusky is AMAZING but it will never measure up to CTOP i have too many memories there, even though i didnt go for very long and didnt make much of an impression, it still made a HUGE impression on me and i cant wait to get to go back!

But today was AMAZING!!! i talked to sooo many people that i havent talked to in forever.. Shanerz spent the night after driving for from 9:30 to almost 12 :( lol but i was happy.. then this morning me shanerz n sary went out to EL CAMPS!!! first of all, i havent been to el camps in the LONGEST time not to mention i havent seen them in forever so it was a GREAT time!! (If he.. oooh... the world would.. ohhh!! OMGOSH!!... sarah.. im not gonna lie... i was kinda scared, i feared for my life... hahaha) omgosh i miss the fun times we all used to have!!!! and then i came back here and gave sarah a hug cuzz she had to go do homework and then shane came in and we talked for a bit and then i had to give him a hug good bye... goodbye hugs... i hate them...

but then i stayed here and played on the computer for a while until rachel came and me her and christian went to red robins!! lol i was so happy that i got to go to both of the old hang out spots while i was home.... then we took a trip to best buy to TRY and find pat which was unsuccesful lol but we did teach christian my gmas number.. "play" DDR and some random football game haha it was definitely the most fun ive had in a LONG time!!!

i LOVE my friends, every last one of them... none of them are more important to me than another.. some of them may frustrate me (although no one has in the LONGEST time :)) but every one of them are an important part of my life that i would be lost without!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! <3 M